‘I’ve been with this company for 20 years and this is how they’re doing me’: New managers try to force 20-year employee to quit after a department merger, piling on extra work and inventing dress code and shoe violations

Author image for Etai Eshet
Etai Eshet • Editor
Nov 8, 2025 1:00 PM EST

Twenty years in, and the office legend is suddenly public enemy number one. New management walks in and starts a scavenger hunt for ways to make senior staff miserable. Dress code infractions, shoes on the blacklist, and a rotating cast of fake concerns just to keep HR on speed dial. The specialist gig disappears, replaced with a pile of everyone else's grunt work, because nothing says fresh leadership like keeping veterans too busy to breathe.

Every meeting turns into a talent show of invented nonsense. One minute it's about the color of your shirt, the next it's a manager inventing rules for shoes nobody cared about for a decade. Old friendships fade, morale drops, and the golden handshake turns out to be more like a hot potato nobody wants passed back. There's a special prize for sticking around: a daily avalanche of minor complaints, just enough to hope you'll quit without anyone having to fill out paperwork.

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  • They’re trying to get me to leave after 20 years because they have nothing to take to HR to get me fired…

    Man wearing glasses sitting at a desk reviewing long receipts and financial documents with a laptop, appearing concerned about expense
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • So my department merged with another department and that manager was made "senior manager" over
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  • Within two months our department manager quit. Then the senior manager (who I have known for 20 years.) starts coming after me.
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  • A "friend" told on me for breaking dress code which he then made a federal case out of.
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  • I've been a specialist for 17 years but now Im expected to work on everything we service.
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  • Serious man wearing glasses sitting at a desk with a laptop giving a thumbs-down gesture, showing disapproval or negative feedback.”
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I'm so busy with everything else that I rarely work on my specialty now. I'm the only specialist put in this position.
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  • Then today they came after me because they don't like the shoes I'm wearing in the office.
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  • I've been wearing this style of shoe for almost ten years without a word from anyone.
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  • I've been with this company for 20 years and this is how they're doing me. If you're looking to get out of where you are gtfo now.
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  • Don't wait till it's too late.
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Management acts surprised there isn’t more enthusiasm, but nobody’s fooled. They want fresh faces, fewer questions, and a quick way to clear the decks. Never mind experience or the fact that the specialist held things together longer than the copier. The only real company perk left is knowing when to let them have their clean slate and take your own expertise somewhere they don’t treat loyalty like a liability.

  • Cryatos1 Read your jobs rules then head to HR for workplace harassment. They don't want a case of constructive dismissal combined with hostile work environment on their hands. Just remember, they are there to protect your employer, not you. So make it so that protecting you is in the company's best interest. If you do not want to go that route, talk to a lawyer that specializes in workplace disputes.
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  • OP v_allen75 I plan to ask HR for copies of all my performance reviews and ask if my shoes actually violate dress code. I was threatened with a write up if I had another dress code violation. If they try that we are going straight to HR.
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  • SmilingDaisies That sounds horrible. Do you know why they want you out? It could be some sort of discrimination.
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  • Jerry RiceOfOhio2 Been there, done that, my way is to force them to fire me, they don't like to do that apparently because I've been playing this game for almost 5 years, and they've come up with the stupidest things to harass me about, i just ignore it, waiting for my severance and unemployment
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  • OP v_allen75 That's where I'm at. I've been there too long to let them win. Plus it's an easy job mostly and it pays my bills.
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  • humanity_go_boom Are you in the US and in a "right to work" state? They don't need a reason to fire you. If they really want you gone, they can just do it and take the insurance premium hit.
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  • OP v_allen75 Like I said in another comment, they are highly protective of their reputation so HR has a very high standard for signing off on terminations. They have to present a case to HR and they make the final call and it's notoriously difficult. We have a lot of useless people that have been here for years due to this. What matters the most is they have to have cause to deny me unemployment. If they just let me go simply because "reasons" then they can't deny it. They also notoriously fruga
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  • Mirrevirrez Sounds like they want to replace you with Al and dont want to take the cost it takes to let you go. Do you have any way of looking at the "future vision of your company" perhaps?
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  • OP v_allen75 Al can't really do what I do yet. Plus there's a whole team of us and it's very clear I'm being singled out. My value has diminished as the company has grown so there's no need to look past personality differences. It's no longer necessary to "tolerate" me.
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  • spoodlat Start documenting everything if you haven't already. They are looking for any reason whatsoever to get rid of you. And remember h r is not your friend as they are there to protect the company. So go through the Handbook and highlight everything that they are bitching at you about.
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  • universaljester Make them have to do an illegal termination and take their worthless carcasses to court. Edit to add, like others have stated they're not your friend in HR. However, they have to protect the company and to do so they have to ensure everything is done on the up and up. Use that to your advantage make them protect you to protect the company.
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  • Eeeeeeeeehwhatsup
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  • Legal-Pie6627 Document and write email responses back to your manager. Further to our conversation today, you had advised I was wearing inappropriate shoes to the office. I was shocked and upset by this information, as I have been wearing this style shoes for the past ten years. Can you please email me an email copy of the dress code for the office, including proper foot attire. Every time the manager has a discussion, listen but then send an email response back for documentation. Keep copies. D
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management terrible coworkers workplace discussion employment issues boss workplace-stories hr manager bosses work coworkers colleague PTO managers supervisor workplace Horrible Bosses work-life balance
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